By Adele Kirkby-Clarke
I live in a constant state of vigilance for good reason. In a moment, a second, everything can change. The world as you know it spirals out of control. Everything you had planned for the day is now obsolete. As a mum to a child with complex medical needs I am so used to these direction changes that sometimes I just take a breath and move along in the direction I have been steered. But some days it’s not that easy. Some days it’s frustrating, some days it is upsetting, some days it just feels unfair. When these feelings wash over me and I feel powerless there is something I now always remind myself.
“You can’t always control what’s happening, but you can control how you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power lies.”
But it’s not always as simple as saying a positive mantra and “ta-da it’s fixed, I’m ready to move on and take every hit that comes my way”. More often than not I need a moment, or two, to re-set.
Along the way, I have developed a toolbox of strategies that I can draw upon when I need them most. There’s different strategies that I can use depending on where I am and how much time I have.
Some strategies that work for me are;
– Bursts of hard fast physical activity (push-ups or chair dips hard and fast help me reset quickly)
– Slowly sipping freezing cold water.
– Guided meditation. (Just 3 minutes can be enough)
– Breathing.
– Having a shower.
– Going to the gym.
– Calling a friend.
– Crying (Sometimes just a few minutes of crying is enough to help me reset)
– Music
– Green therapy (Getting outside in the fresh air among nature)
I am now not afraid to openly say, “I just need a moment.” and then I pick a strategy and use it before moving on. Using these strategies can give me the breathing space needed to take on what’s next with added calmness, control, resilience, and flexibility.
ReachAble is a page made by a mother of a child with special needs and complex medical needs for mothers. It’s a place of positivity and place to discover strategies to feed our minds souls and bodies. It’s a place full of ideas that helped her be strong for herself and her family. (Strong Me. Strong We) It’s a space that values the importance of putting on our oxygen masks first so that we can be there for our challenging and rewarding lives.
Visit http://www.reachable.com.au or you can join Adele on Facebook here
