By Christine Cronin
I’m so thankful for 2022. Despite numerous difficulties faced, by leaning right into my special needs parenting role, there were an abundance of lessons I may not otherwise have discovered.
- I learnt that, your heart has to be in it. Always. You have to *want* to be here. If your hearts not in this, he knows. He knows and he feels it and he reacts to it.
- I learnt that, empathy is the key to every single one of his outbursts, meltdowns or hard moments. He needs to know I hear him. He needs to know I understand and I’m listening and I feel what he’s feeling and I get it and I’m here for it, with him.
- I learnt that, acceptance is one of the most underrated skills ever and also one of the most important. Accept him. Accept how he’s reacting. Accept the hard. Accept the middle-of-the-night wake-up’s. Accept the emotion. Accept the meltdown. Accept how the moment is unravelling. Accept it’s happening, all of it. Then, you can move easier into helper rather than victim.
- I learnt that, respect is also equally as important. Not for me, but for him. He doesn’t know what respect is or how to give it but he certainly knows when he isn’t being treated respectfully. And again, he reacts accordingly.
- I learnt that, trust, while it comes and goes with him like waves in the ocean, it’s one of the only things that gets him through. His trust in us, is everything.
- I learnt that there’s always going to be some sort of degree of hard in each month, each week, each day and sometimes each hour.
- I learnt that some days minute-by-minute is sometimes all I can take it.
- I didn’t learn that being present is important – I already knew that – but I did learn – and succeeded in – staying present every waking moment I was with Cody.
- I learnt that whatever isn’t happening right here, in this room, isn’t a problem right now.
- I learnt that, even if yesterday and last week and this morning was good, doesn’t mean we won’t encounter some hards this afternoon or tomorrow. I also learnt that the opposite is true too, if today was hard, that doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be a breezy walk in the park.
- There’s no pattern. Hards come and go as they please and going with it rather than resisting or trying to fight it or forcing to prevent it, doesn’t work.
- Acceptance is your friend.
- I learnt that my physical health is almost the most important thing in every aspect of this life. I learnt that not only do I feel better when I am taking care of myself, I also behave better. I feel better. I think clearer. I move easier. I sleep better. And I make better choices.
- I learnt that my role in this family, is extremely important and making changes to make myself harder to kill – physically, mentally & emotionally is essential in this field.
- I learnt that letting things go in this moment is imperative in being able to move on to the next moment.
- I learnt that hards will always come. But how we handle those hards is the most important thing.
- I learnt that leaning into this life, wins.
- And I also learnt that regardless of how much I already know, I still have so much to learn.
This is the journey and I’m so thankful I’m here for it.
Reposted with permission by Christine Cronin at https://www.facebook.com/specialsoulmama
