By Silvana Ghoussain
Back in May 2017 my son’s doctor took one look at me and said, “you are heading into a very deep depression”. I knew it and he could see it. At the time, I didn’t understand what was going on with my son’s medical condition and the days and nights had started to become a blur. The doctor suggested that I do the one thing that brings real joy back into my life. The thing that sets my soul on fire.
I looked up and mentioned that I missed training and living ‘healthy’ in every sense. I wanted to compete in body building again and take off from where I left things – when I was competing back in 2001.
So, I restarted my fitness journey and competed in my first competition later in 2017, a year after I had my son.
While my son was going through a tonne of medical issues and was in and out of hospital, the one thing that kept me focused and in control, was my fitness regimen. Previously, while I knew that I was there for my son, everything was just a blur, a constant cycle of unfocused activity. Once I started back at training, it felt like life just became clearer and things started to fall back into place.
As parents we feel constant guilt – we feel that we’re not doing enough and it’s hard to focus on our own needs; but we have to look after ourselves as a priority, otherwise how can we be strong enough to look after others? I learnt not to feel guilty no matter what others would say – I recognised that this is my life, they are not living it and don’t know my family unit like I do.
Keeping fit and healthy helps with the number one issue we all seem to face, if not taken care of – poor mental health. It takes a lot to be a parent; and when you are a special needs parent especially we need to be in the right frame of mind to focus on the challenges when they come and we have to be able to face them head on.
To start building your strength, I recommend the following:
Tips:
- Take 15 minutes out of your day to simply stretch
- Go for a walk to clear the mind (even if it’s only a short one)
- Weight training is another great outlet – it’s key for muscle tone and helps protect your joints from injury (lifting and bending!)
I have found increasing my fitness to be my number one tool in gaining strength in my body and my mind.
Alongside the challenge of special needs parenting, I’ve faced my own health challenges with chronic illness, running my own business and other major life issues that I have faced in the past. Just like you, I needed something to pull myself up again. We all feel down but the way we deal with these challenges defines us as individuals.
I hope that by sharing my story I can help others not feel alone; we all have things we go through, we can all turn it around – it’s how you deal and recover and keep moving forward with passion that counts.
In June 2019, I wrote an autobiography “Lioness, My Fighting Spirit”, which has sold internationally with major online book retailers.
At the end of 2019, I moved back home to Sydney after living on the Gold Coast for 3 years. This was a decision to help my son – to be around family, to increase and improve our support network with friends and family.
I truly believe the universe works in mysterious ways and you cross paths with people that empower you and help you through your journey. My world is ever evolving and growing, I’m learning so much through my son’s journey with ASD and all that he teaches me.
From my journey so far, I’ve realised that I’ve needed to selflessly put myself first, to pick me up from where I was, because staying there would not have helped anyone, especially my son.
Remember – Believe in YOU and achieve the things you want.
Lioness My Fighting Spirit – https://www.silvanaghoussain.com.au/
