By Kelly Wilton
Many parents will tell you it’s a special bond that siblings have with their brothers and sisters with a disability. It’s pretty magical to witness.
I’ll be honest though, it wasn’t that long ago that my 3 kids would just fight and bicker all day long and it drove me nuts!
However, with everything in life, there comes a new season where a change starts to happen before your eyes. My eldest daughter had reached an age of maturity and she asked the question I had been waiting for.
Mum, what does it mean that my sister has an intellectual disability?
My daughter, 14 at the time, thought that it meant her younger sister had learning difficulties, like reading and writing. She looked like any other younger sister, and was probably just as annoying! However, her older sister was starting to comprehend that maybe it meant more?
Yes it’s some of those things, I told her. But it also means that as she grows older, her body will also grow and get bigger however emotionally she will be younger, which again looks different from person to person, including her twin brother who also has an intellectual disability.
I could see that at the time, she was sad and I guess, a part of her was trying to figure it all out. It’s hard when you are the only person your age, that you know of, experiencing this different way of life. You watch people around you, and think ‘that’s not us, we don’t do things like that as a family’. It can seem frightening when we don’t know what’s ahead for the people we care about.
I told her ‘Don’t be sad for her though. Because you see, she isn’t sad. She lives with purpose and joy because she doesn’t get bogged down in all the crap of life. The pettiness, the cruelty, the back stabbing, the ego. Your little sister will always be your little sister. But she’ll grow in other ways that will make us grow too. She will teach us how to be, just by being her true self’.
From that conversation forward, there’s been a lighter mood between the two sisters that has been transformative to their relationship. There is an understanding, respect and acceptance which is one of the most natural relationships unfolding before my eyes.
The ripple effect has begun in the younger generation, and I’m excited to see it grow.
*and of course, they still bicker like siblings do, but it’s along the lines of music tastes now!
