By Christine Cronin
“What are you going to do when he gets bigger?” This question pops up a lot.
I get asked this by strangers who see him swipe at me while I’m trying to buckle him into his chair.
I get asked this by people who witness his meltdowns in the playground as he flops to the ground like a pancake and I have to physically remove him from dangers.
I get asked this by family members who see him barrel into me when he’s struggling to make sense of things not going the way he first processed they would.
I get asked this by professionals who see his behaviours as me not being in control of him. And I get asked this by people who generally do just want to know the answer to that question.
What am I gonna do when he gets so big a punch from him will not just hurt but do damage?
What am I gonna do when he gets so big that physically moving him isn’t an option?
What am I gonna do when he’s bigger than me? Stronger than me?
Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.
I’m going to do exactly what I’m already doing. I’m going to continue teaching him the skills he needs and building on the skills he already has, to better handle hard situations.
I’m going to continue helping him develop tools he can use when he’s faced with challenges.
I’m going to continue helping him learn to self-regulate by co-regulating with him. I’m going to continue helping him through his struggles.
Because even though he does struggle and even though he still has meltdowns of epic proportions sometimes and even though his challenging behaviours are still present, he’s come a long way.
He’s moved mountains. He does handle some things better than he used to. He is learning. He is growing and he is developing new skills.
And in my heart, I know he won’t always handle his hards like he has before or even like he currently does.
He’s changed and I believe he will continue to change.
Maybe it will take a long time. Longer than anyone else, for him to get it, sure.
But that’s ok. I’ve got the time. I’m here and I’m never going to stop helping him.
