By Julie Fisher
When we received the diagnosis of Down syndrome for our third son, I was able to join a fortnightly support/coffee group with other mums of children with Down syndrome.
There were a couple of families that had chosen full-time mainstream primary school for their children, some that had chosen full-time specialist schooling and a couple of families whose children attended both. This is what they referred to as dual schooling.
While listening to the stories at the group, I started thinking a lot about what I might like to try with my little man once he was ready for schooling. I really started mapping out his early childhood while listening to these ladies.
I thought dual schooling sounded perfect because he would be getting all the life skills and therapies he needed at a specialist school and he would benefit from learning a different structure, routines and experience like his brothers did at a mainstream school.
Darcy hadn’t even been born yet and we were already talking about primary school, but we figured it was better to have a bit of a plan in place and work towards it. It’s how we have ended up doing everything with Darcy. Learning about what’s available and making a plan. Well, trying to where we can.
I had booked early intervention for Darcy while I was pregnant and knew that when he was the right age, he would begin the Early Education Program at the specialist school. I booked him in for this when he was 18 months old and received a place immediately.
I had also spoken to the local mainstream kindergarten Darcy’s brothers attended to see if we could begin the dual schooling then. I was told it would be a great idea for him to attend there as they were fully inclusive for children with disabilities, and he would also be able to follow through to the school with some friends when the time came.
From the time Darcy joined our family, the years went very quickly because, before we knew it, he was attending the specialist school in their Early Education Program and we were doing the bookings for the mainstream kinder.
The success of doing both specialist and mainstream kinder was wonderful. He formed some lovely friendships and the kids encouraged him to try different things. He would watch them climbing equipment each session until eventually he tried it himself. He was extremely proud of himself when he succeeded, and his friends were very proud of him too.
Before we knew it, two years of kinder had gone by and we were ready for the mainstream primary school next door. Some meetings were set in place to decide on the best day of the week for him to attend and to speak with the assistant they were assigning to him.
We couldn’t have been happier. The school were amazing and listened to everything we needed to tell them about Darcy and what he would need. They were accommodating in everything we spoke about.
On his first day, he was as confident as anything and extremely excited to be going to the same school his brothers had attended. His brother Blake was still at the school in his final year, and I think that made it even more exciting for Darcy. I was a bundle of nerves worrying about whether we were doing the right thing. I’m not sure why because we knew a lot of the kids and his assistant was amazing.
I had provided a letter to all the parents explaining who Darcy was and what his abilities were before school started, so there were lots of conversations as we waited for the bell to go. I had done the same thing in kinder after the teacher recommended it would be a good idea to help start conversations and give people the confidence to ask whatever questions they had.
The day went slowly for me because I kept wishing I was a fly on the wall to see how he was going and how he was responding to the different environment and bigger classroom size.
At the specialist school, there are 6-8 kids in each class with a teacher and an assistant. At the mainstream school, there was 25 kids in the class. So quite a big difference from what he was used to. But in saying that, there were a lot of kids in his kinder classes, so I guess it was normal for him.
School pick up time couldn’t have come fast enough and I was waiting anxiously outside the classroom to hear how his day went. I thought he would be exhausted and expected stories of him not wanting to participate in certain activities.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. He walked out of that classroom with his chest pumped right out and the biggest grin on his face. He was so damn proud of himself, and I was really struggling to hold back the tears.
His assistant said he had the best day and did amazing learning all the new routines and work they did in the classroom. His friends loved having him there with them and really looked forward to the next week.
We always thought Darcy would only get a few years at the mainstream school mainly because as the kids get older, the gap between them and Darcy would get bigger. We thought he would make it to about Grade 2 or 3 because of the gap and because he may not be able to cope with certain tasks.
Again, we were wrong. Darcy completed seven years at the mainstream school and graduated with all of his friends at the end of Grade 6. There wasn’t a dry eye in the hall that evening. The entire school community was so proud of him.
He attended one day a week but some weeks there would be an extra day because of excursions and incursions, specialty days like sports carnivals, etc. He also attended all four camps at the school with his friends. The Year 6 school production was another thing he was part of even though he wasn’t there for all the rehearsals. The school just made some adjustments, and he was able to participate in that with his friends from the specialty school coming to watch.
When I think back, now that he is 16, I think it was a good decision sending him there to do dual schooling and one of the best things for me was watching him with the other kids and the way their relationships grew with him over the years.
We did face some challenges over the years but even with those, the outcomes were always positive. Sometimes we would have to spend quite a bit of time nutting things out, while for others, the meetings were short with questions answered and progress made.
On many occasions Darcy showed me that he was more capable than I expected and that doesn’t mean he was always able to accomplish tasks straight away. What I mean is that he gave things a go and even if he didn’t succeed the first time, he was still happy to give things a go.
Seeing changes in people’s opinions was quite amazing too. There were a few times where we needed to advocate for him because the people involved didn’t think he would be able to handle certain things. Once we had our meetings and they saw him try, their opinions changed right before our eyes. They could see that just giving someone a chance allowed for many wonderful things to happen.
I think what Darcy taught them, their parents and the teachers was something you can’t buy. Firsthand experience of things you don’t expect is the best learning tool I think.
We don’t see his friends from the mainstream school much anymore, but when they see us out and about, they always come up to say hello to Darcy and see how everything is going. They may not be close friends, but they still have a little something there.
Darcy has a great friendship group with his friends at the specialist school and programs he attends, but it’s nice to know these kids will still come up and say hello to him. They may not have things in common anymore, but they will always come and say hi.
Dual schooling and full-time mainstream school doesn’t work for every child, but I think it’s something worth giving a try. Only because of all the wonderful things I know they can get from it. It’s definitely not for everyone, but I think if it’s something you think is worth giving a go, then do it.
I did feel sad that the mainstream schooling was coming to an end, but it was a great opportunity for Darcy and I’m grateful he was able to do it. The memories are something we have forever, and we often look back and talk about it all with his brothers who attended the same school.
I’m also very grateful for the assistant we had for Darcy during his time there. She is an amazing lady who we still see today. She taught me a thing or two about thinking outside the box and helped Darcy achieve many things. She really was our angel.
We wanted Darcy to do dual schooling to see how he would go and give him a chance to learn different things as well as experience the same things his brothers did and have the same special mementos from graduation.
I say, if you are thinking about dual schooling or anything like that, give it a go. Good communication between you and the school is extremely important for it to work well. Always make sure you are heard and understood.
I think if there’s anything you would like your child to try, you should do what you can to make it happen. I’m sure, whatever it is, they will surprise you and everybody else.
