By Christine Cronin
“He’s too big to be in a chair”
“My he’s gotten so big, I remember when I first said ‘hello’ to him, that a was a few years ago now. He’s gotten big. Still so happy and always gives me a wave or a flower.”
Two comments I heard from two different strangers this week.
A few years ago the first comment would have hurt me. It would have cut me deep and made me worry.
I would have filled with thoughts of fear and shame. I would have believed the very core of it.
He IS too big to be in a chair. He shouldn’t need to be in a chair. He shouldn’t have to be strapped in for safety & he shouldn’t have to pushed around like a toddler.
I would have taken those words to bed with me and laid awake thinking. I would’ve mulled them over & sent myself into a spin.
I would’ve got up the following day and gone against everything I knew in my gut, I would’ve taken away his chair and tried to make him walk.
And through tears and pain & meltdowns, and on edge from unsafe behaviours, I would have fallen in a heap and drowned myself completely. All because of one comment.
I know because it’s happened.
Thankfully, I listen to me now.
He does need his chair. He has a disability. He isn’t too big for this chair because we got made especially. He does have to be strapped in for safety and he can’t walk the distance he always wants to go because of pain.
Without his chair, he would be scared and fearful & running on impulse and adrenaline. He does need his chair, or he wouldn’t be so happy, and waving & handing out flowers like he is now.
Two comments from two different strangers. One with power to hurt as well as a place of no understanding.
And one describing the truth.
Do what works for you and your family. That’s something I was never told in the beginning of this journey. But the truth is, you’re on a different path.
Your trail is not going to look the same as the regular track. You are going to look different.
You are going to do things differently. You are going to stand out noticeably. And that’s okay. You have to do, what’s right for you. Keep going Mama. You are doing it right.
