We’ve all been there. Unsolicited advice at the MOST INAPPROPRIATE times.
Comments about “naughty” children who “tantrum” and you’re clearly just a parent who can’t control their child – “they just need a good old-fashioned smack”.
Or as you push your child in a disability pram, or in the trolley, “they are too old for that stroller” or “just make them walk”.
How your misjudgements and ignorantly informed opinions get under our skin! If you just stopped for a moment, you might realise you are only seeing part of the picture.
How your judging eyes only see a naughty child, but what you are really seeing is a child in complete sensory overload. Or a child in a trolley because they lack the physical strength to walk the full length of the supermarket. And this trolley is the only thing making this outing possible.
Here is a perspective from a fellow Source Mama, Ange – who beautifully tells the story of when she encounters disapproval from complete strangers because her daughter uses a disability stroller. A stroller that has been life-altering in such a positive way for her daughter, because now they can access the community safely as a family.
Those of us who have encountered these ignorant stares, judgements and comments know all too well the deflated feelings we have in our never-ending battle to ‘educate’.
However, next time this happens – remember these words below. Take a deep breath, hold your head up high and realise you are giving your kids opportunities for them to live their best life by supporting them with their individual needs.
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Please don’t tell me to be a stricter parent.
Our journey looks a little different.
Please don’t advise me that my child will eat what’s in front of them if they have no choice.
Our lives are a little different.
Every. Single. Time. When I’m told I’m not a strict parent and am not forceful enough, it’s a boulder thrown at us.
We don’t do 1950’s conservative strictness. We choose education, advocation and patience.
We choose gentle.
We choose to ensure a less chaotic home, by simply choosing kindness and understanding.
We have different rules in our house. If kindness and patience make you feel uncomfortable from the typical 1950-1980’s upbringing, then we ask that you perhaps take a seat at our table.
And see what time CAN achieve. As we have. Patience. Time. Love. Understanding.
Not thrashings, belittlement, bowing down when unnecessary, being frightened of parental figures.
We are a team.
We NOW have the education through advocacy and research to understand that the family unit flourishes through ‘safe space’ and openness.
So please don’t demand that I remain with outdated opinions to be ‘more strict’ on my children.
They are flourishing, respectful, and great communicators.
I look forward to what they shall advocate for in the future.
